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The only one I knew who could tend an injury might be Professor Slade. He ran the Clinton Female Seminary not too far from the plantation. We did not have horses and even though I volunteered to go, Abigail made a show of pretending she may go in my stead.“No child, attend me” Madame insisted that I make the journey on my own. “I could hitch Cornelia to the carriage,” Abigail made a sour joke at my expense and her grandmother said that at the rate at which I plow the carriage would not arrive until well after she passed of natural causes.I allowed them to have their joke without comment and feeling an obligation for the injury made my way to the seminary. On the way, I kept to the back roads to avoid the movement of soldiers from either side. There was still fighting and the worst of it would be the deserters who had become separated from their units as they were hungry and without morals. I briefly wondered if perhaps I could seek asylum at the seminary. I was after all rather devout. ’ ‘Todd, I’m really sorry about last night. It won’t happen again. Please forgive me. I really messed up.’ ‘Don’t feel bad about what happened. It is what you wanted to happen. The problem is me. I cannot live wondering if the woman I love will come home to me each night or if she traded up, finding something better for the evening. Or better to share her life with.’ The pain in his eyes was deep and crippling. I asked, ‘Do you want me to move out?’ ‘No, I want you here. I cannot imagine a day without you or not having your warm body next to me in our bed. But, I want you to not let me love you and not let me believe you will come home to me. I don’t want to hurt like I am hurting.’ Todd could not stand any more. He had not slept last night while I frolicked. He had believed in me, trusted me and loved me while I fucked someone else. Now he was exhausted, got up and went up to shower and go to bed. I went up about half and hour after I heard his shower turn off. The room was dark. I.
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