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I could make him understand, I was sure of it. I missed him. I wanted to touch him and I wanted him near me so I could smell his after shave and hear one of his stupid stories about Italy. The next day found me as a mess. My heart started to ache around noon that day, I was sure it was because I missed him so. The problem with three words seemed stupid now, insignificant and small. I became angry at myself for being so scared of every little thing in this world, for being a wimp, for only having the courage to touch him when he wanted to hear my words too. God, it was so frustrating to see how stupid I have been. Stupid, stupid little hang ups that just make me unhappy, that make us unhappy. ‘Damn.’ I said aloud. ‘Damn. Damn. Damn!’ The remainder of the week went in the same feelings. For the life of me I could not understand why it had been so difficult for me to speak my mind. Such a little thing as that seemed like the biggest hurdle. I felt like I didn’t know the person I was. Innocence almost always agreed, and more often than not, Dodie would be sleeping alone in Innocence’s bed, while in Chastity’s the two sisters were fucking noisily and agitatedly through the night. On these occasions, Dodie would cry softly to herself, her hand idly masturbating her bejewelled vagina as she imagined only too well the movement of her beloved’s wonderful penis as it thrust in and out of Chastity’s lubricious cunt. Chastity’s demands on Dodie were also very insistent, but much as Dodie enjoyed the passion and intensity of her lover’s sister’s lovemaking she found it empty of true love. It was quite obvious to her that she was at best a poor substitute for Kedi, whom Chastity clearly still loved, and at worst just a distraction like all the men who’d be leaving early in the morning never to be seen again. Life with the two sisters was not nearly so pleasant now that Kedi was no longer there. Dodie had to admit that the black girl had been a much better influence on the.
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