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There wasn’t enough light to see the words, but she didn’t need to see them. They were engraved in her memory: ‘To my Outlaw, I love you for free. Forever, Dragon Bait’ The top flipped open easily and the heavy smell of butane settled in the back of her throat, but her thumb just caressed the wheel without striking it. She would have, too. She would have loved him forever. For free. Not a single one of those other assholes could say that. As much as they looked down on her she knew what they were really about. They all wanted something from him, just waiting for him to hit it big, riding along on his coat tails, getting antsy and eager now that success seemed imminent. She never wanted anything from him, she just wanted HIM. The girls, always around but never before threatening to her, had become more aggressive lately. She’d seen their snide looks and registered their jealousy, but felt confident, smug even, in the knowledge that what he shared with her was bigger than lust.. There had been a time when she believed she would be a star. Not Janis great, of course, not Ella great, but good enough. For a long time the dream had been enough to keep them going. She could sing the blues with anybody, sing the memory of pain and hopelessness that had been her childhood, the dead end of trailer parks and the unwanted attention of her mother's boyfriends. Who cared about the blues anymore though. Not the record companies that was for sure. Not the gaga public drowning in hype and blondness. No tears though. No tears tonight. She applauded the band. A one person standing O. The guitar player smiled at her, the drummer gave her a flourish, and the singer, tired and probably drunker than she was waved and said goodnight to the empty room. The lights came up and they band started packing it up. She wondered if the bartender would give her back her keys. She didn't feel nearly as drunk as she had when she dropped them in the fishbowl. He was cleaning the last of the.
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