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The first is to be a good actor. This is definitely not a recommended option and has a huge fail rate. If you do not really understand what you are doing, you or your partner will get hurt. Getting hurt will ruin that experience and will destroy any trust you have formed preparing for this activity. Your partner will most likely not want to participate in this activity again. Ultimately, there was no actual confidence gained but there was a lot to lose. The best way to gain confidence is through knowledge. Knowledge is gained either through trial & error or eduaction (reading this is a step in educating yourself!) Education also reduces the amount of error in your trials, increasing your pleasurable experiences. There are some people who have always known anal to be pleasurable and preferred form of intercourse. Unless your partner has asked for it before you brought it up, they either did not have a pleasurable experience or They are afraid it will hurt. Anal sex should never be. I took Sally in my arms and said I wassorry for having caused her so much distress the past week. "I havedecided to let you make some of the decisions as to how we live for thenext few days" I said, "and if that extends to the bedroom, that's fineas well". Sally smiled sadly, "there you go" she said "even now you aretaking the decision to let me take decisions! If we are going to dothis, you are REALLY going to have to relinquish power to me and agreeto do exactly what I tell you." Well that was going a bit far but Ididn't want to lose Sally, so I somewhat nervously agreed."This could be a make or break time for us" said Sally "so we both needto be absolutely clear as to what we are agreeing to. We will both sleepon it and, if you are still of the same mind in the morning, I will drawup an agreement setting out the terms of our experiment. Now, we will goto bed and you will sleep in the spare room. We both need time toreflect without any distraction." Already Sally's tone of voice.
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