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"I found a plastic medium that looks and feels just like shit. But the beauty part is it doesn't stink. The possibilities are endless." "Hey, Vlad—they have been making fake doggy-doo for years. Didn't you have a Johnson Smith catalog when you were a kid?" "Sure, like the can of peanut brittle? That turns into big green snakes? They had Doggy Doo, but they didn't do anything really big with it. Come on over—I'll show you what I've done so far. And this is just the beginning." We walked over to his loft.There on a series of plinths was a graduated series of turds—cat size, dog size, horse size, elephant size. There was no smell, so I gingerly poked one. It didn't give."Mix in the solidifying agent and you get a nice solid piece after an hour or so," Vlad explained."So what happens now?" I asked.He handed me a flyer. "Next Friday. The Screech Owl Gallery. I talked Fred into giving me a show. We'll see who likes my shit."There was the usual Screech Owl crowd. Plus some new people. "From. Somewhere along the line, Pa had acquired a Henry rifle, and I had plenty of ammunition for it. As the saying goes, "I was loaded for bear and aching to meet one."The response to my initial shot had been a fusillade of bullets striking my front door and the surrounding windows, so my initial firing ports were already open. I emptied my Walker Colt, 4 shots, at the men still on their horses. I was still so mad that I was jerking off the shots, so I didn't hit anybody, but it wasn't for lack of trying.I came to my senses when the hammer hit on the empty cylinder chamber, so I stepped back away from the windows and took the time to reload the Walker. This time, I figured that I might need the extra shot, so I loaded all 6 chambers of the cylinder. Meanwhile, those galoots outside kept pouring bullets into my front door. I figured that, at the the rate they were going, I could pay for repairing the damage by selling the lead from all those bullets!The door was thick and made of hickory,.
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