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Conversation started very easily, with both of us dropping naturally into the comfortable patterns we had enjoyed for years. But that dried up when the conversation shifted. Amy asked how my appointment with Dr. Simmons went, and was quite upset when I told her I missed it Friday. After I had withstood all the chastising I could handle, I escaped to the bedroom, then out for a walk, leaving her brooding at the kitchen table.It felt good to walk again. I missed it the past few mornings, but my face was such a collage of colors I couldn't make myself go out where I might be seen. Today, the bruises were faded to the point that the walk was more important than my appearance. The swelling was going down too, and when I got back from the walk I removed the small bandages, revealing my whole face for the first time since Sandy's office.After showering, I was curious to see the new me. The bruises were a definite distraction, so I wrapped myself in a robe and set about making up my face to. There was obviously anattraction there. That kind of pain didn't come from someone whodoesn't feel something for another person. But it told me everything Ineeded to know...again.The signs had been there for days. I'd even come to the conclusion withmy mom earlier this week. Josh and I were not going to be together.I felt cold inside as I heard the beginning of the song start. Josh hada keyboard player in his band, and when the four note chord that wasthe cornerstone of this song played the first time, I had to hold backtears. Every single note seemed to stab straight into my heart. How wasI going to get through this song now?The notes played softly for a moment before the rest of the band joinedin and I did my best to prepare for the song. Unlike the other two, Iwas the one who sang first during this song.When I started singing the first verse, I was afraid that there wouldbe something in my voice that would betray my true thoughts, but Icouldn't hear it. If it was there, I hoped.
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