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Marcus already said he wouldn't see meuntil tomorrow.'I stripped my bed, and put my sheets and blankets in a basket. Later,when things died down, I'd sneak to the laundry room, which is reallyright outside my apartment door, and wash and dry them. I changed themout for the time being. No better time than now to open up thatbeautiful, bright pink, queen size 'Hello Kitty' bed set I bought, butwas too afraid to use.Out of fear, more than anything else, I did do my make-up. Marcus didshow up unexpectedly once today already, and even though he apparentlyfelt bad about the brutality of my whipping, I didn't want to see if hewould let not having my make-up done slide. I also put the hoops backin my ears until bed time. I really feared facing Marcus' wrath, andswore I wouldn't do anything to bring that on.The day went along quite uneventfully. At 9:00, I took out my hoops andreinserted the pink studs in their place. At 9:30, I put on my longrobe, and snuck to the laundry room, and put my. It was from Sally. If I’d stayed at home, I would have seen her.My dearest Caleb, I’m hurting as I write this. My life can never be full and totally happy ever again. I’ve tried and tried to get you to understand how sorry I am for what I did to you and to our lovely children, and to explain to you how it came about. You know what Dr Masters unearthed, and you know also that I take full responsibility – I haven’t tried to hide behind my psychological problems. But now you have all the information, you know the why of it, but it’s made no difference.I said a number of times how much I love you – how much I’m still in love with you, but you never reacted, and I have to conclude that your love for me is not strong enough to allow you to forgive me or at least trust me. So there is nothing I can do any more. My tears are still falling as I realise how much I have lost, as they have all year from the time I ran away.I held on and held on, hoping you’d change, but the decree absolute is due.
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