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As he wasto say later. "She didn't cover herself or cringe, just stood there." "Hi grampa," I said. Not even thinking about covering my nakedness,after all my father looked at me naked all the time, and did a lotmore than look. My grandfather stood as if turned to stone, a hundred emotions runningover his face at the same time. His eyes swept up and down over mybody. I could see his hands trembling. "Is there something you wanted grampa?" I asked after a long time. "Uh...........Uh......Yes....UH.... I was going to ask you aboutthe TV ...uh ......never mind." His eyes never left my body. I reached down and picked up my nightgown that I had laid out earlier."Is it okay if I just wear my nightgown while we watch TV? I got alittle too much sun today at the beach." He waved his arms in dismissal. "Wear whatever you want."He said,rather gruffly, a mean looking scowl coming on his face and turnedand walked out. I was devastated. What had I done to make my. I suppose that was perspective. Mybelief I was carrying around massive mammaries was totally unfounded. Iequated it with the body image distortion anorectics felt. Now that wasa bitch of a condition to treat. I had convinced myself my boobs were somuch bigger than they were because I was completely unfamiliar withhaving them, but also so skewed in my self evaluation, just like thosewith anorexia. But it seemed unlike them I was still able to beredirected away from erroneous perception. Thank heavens for smallmercies. Alex Turner's shirts were 40 inch or 42. Being a 34 was adegree of scale how much smaller my frame now was.I turned the water on to allow the hot to run through so that I couldremove my knickers at the last minute and not have to deal with thingscompletely.Was I supposed to feel an array of differing sensations as the water hitmy new body? I don't know. The fact is, I didn't. Was I supposed to beturned on? I wasn't.Surely this was indicative of more changes. Yesterday.
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