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A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test The optician showed him a card with the letters 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' 'Can you read this?' the optician asked. 'Read it?' the Polish guy replied, 'I know the guy.'Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, 'I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhoea in the convent.' 'Thank God, ' said an elderly nun at the back. 'I'm so tired of chardonnay.A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful, ' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't. Well almost always. I quickly apologized for making you wait. You only smiled . The waitress delivered my chia tea that you had ordered for me. You didn’t ask me what took so long or why I was late. You just sat, waiting. Waiting for me to offer some excuse you weren’t going to believe anyway. I opened my mouth to speak and no words come out. I took a sip of my tea. I wished you would drink your coffee faster so my punishment could begin. I quickly realized the wait was a part of it. We talked about the weather and our weekend plans while you made me wait. You certainly knew how to get and give it back tenfold. As if, I didn't already know that. 9:40 came around and we had both finished our drinks. You paid our tab and tipped our waitress. You opened the car door for me and finally we headed to my apartment. After both of us waiting all morning, my dreams of your tortuous ways came true. You wasted no time in pulling me by the hand to my bedroom. You chuckled at the mess of shoes in.
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I stepped forward. ‘I’m here,’ I said. I could see the outlines of Laura and Tonya behind Chrissie. Chrissie walked over and patted her bag. ‘I got mine,’ she said. ‘You?’ I nodded. ‘Yeah, I got mine.’ ‘And you didn’t mess it up? Amazing,’ she said. ‘I’d already be out of here if I didn’t have to stand around waiting for you,’ I said. Laura and Tonya rolled their eyes. They were used to Chrissie and me bickering. Chrissie was the nominal leader of our group- she had been the leader when I first joined- but I didn’t agree with a lot of her decisions, and it was creating a serious rift between us. Unless something changed, this was likely our last job together. Chrissie and I simply didn’t trust each other, and in this business that didn’t make for a comfortable working environment. Chrissie’s eyes moved to the statue and the paperweights. ‘Hey, now, what’s this?’ I shrugged. ‘I don’t know. They must be new. They’re not out for display yet.’ She ran a finger along the smooth.

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