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You say “the city” and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can’t find Wisconsin on a map.You think Central Park is “nature.”You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.You’ve worn out a car horn. (IF you have a car.)You think eye contact is an act of aggressionORYou can retire to Minnesota where...You only have three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.Halloween costumes have to fit over parkas.You have seventeen recipes for casserole.Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.The four seasons are: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road repair.The highest level of criticism is “He is different,” “She is different,” or “It was different!”ORYou can retire to The Deep South where...You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.“Y’all” is singular and “all y’all” is plural.“He needed killin” is a valid. .. the woman who raised me... who loves me... who dances nightly in my dreams... I can't! I can't! How can something so wrong be making me feel so good? How can a dream be ruining my marriage? How can I want to cum for my mother?Overcome with guilt, I take my hand off my erection, and try to get some sleep.Not surprisingly, the dream comes again.This time, as I kneel on the floor, semen spurting from my cock, splattering on her shoes, I'm sure I see her look at me and smile impishly... I wake up early in the morning, before six, sweating, panting, my cock harder than it's ever been.Lying awake in bed, I listen to Lily snore. The sound is piggish, repulsive. I look over at her dishwater blonde hair, and sneer. How could I ever have been attracted to her? A child's body and a whore's haircut.My cock droops at the sight of her.This, of course, does not resolve my problem. While it's now obvious why she can't get me off, I still can't figure out what the dream means, nor why I can't get.
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