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The dispatcher said,‘Stay calm ... An officer is on the way.’ A few minutes later, the officer radios in ‘Disregard.’ He says.‘He got in the back-seat by mistake.’TELL ME THIS WON’T HAPPEN TO US!!Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters,‘Was I getting in or out of the bath?’ The94-year-old yells back, ‘I don’t know. I’ll come up and see.’ She starts up the stairs and pauses‘Was I going up the stairs or down? The92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters, she shakes her head and says, ‘I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood... ‘She then yells, ‘I’ll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who’s at the door.’TELL ME THIS WON’T HAPPEN TO US!!!!‘I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!’Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, ‘Windy, isn’t it?’ ‘No, ‘ the second. But sadly, it was not to last. As the festivities progressed, a dark shadow came to pass over the crowds. Not a shadow like the mountain cast either - this was an evil, malevolent shadow. The women stopped their chatter, the children stopped their playing, and all eyes turned upwards to see a black figure flying into view from high above. The figure came down slowly to light on the platform in front of the crowd. The crowd all gasped when they saw who it was. It was Morgana, a witch from the dark country to the far north of here. "Let me see the child!" she cackled. The Queen refused at first, pulling the child back. But our Queen is nothing if not gracious, so she allowed Morgana to view the baby cautiously. "A very pretty child," Morgana said, "TOO pretty!" And Morgana began her incantation and cast her spell on the poor Aurora. "Upon this child's 18th birthday, I will return in disguise and give her an apple, which she will eat. She will fall into a deep slumber that will last.
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