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“So one day I got an idea at 8:45pm I would go under her trailer and when she put the hot dog in the hole I would pull it out and stick my p.nis in the hole.“So that night I did, and it was going great until someone knocked on the door and she tried to kick it under the oven!”An old lady in a nursing home is wheeling up and down the halls in her wheelchair making sounds like she’s driving a car. As she’s going down the hall an old man jumps out of a room and says, “Excuse me ma’am but you were speeding. Can I see your driver’s license?”She digs around in her purse a little, pulls out a candy wrapper, and hands it to him. He looks it over, gives her a warning and sends her on her way.Up and down the halls she goes again. Again, the same old man jumps out of a room and says, “Excuse me ma’am but I saw you cross over the center line back there. Can I see your registration please?”She digs around in her purse a little, pulls out a store receipt and hands it to him. He looks it over, gives. "So, you did have a bathing suit after all," I joked.I lunged forward but I missed her arm. Instead, my hand caught the leg of her shorts. It wasn't my intention to try to undress her, but when she let herself fall backwards to escape me, her shorts were pulled down over her hips. I let go immediately."I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..."Ulrika pulled up her shorts and looked down timidly."You're... nice. If we... I mean, I've got to dry my clothes before I go home.' She bit her lip."If we take off our clothes then... you won't rape me or anything, will you?I was shocked at first that she even could think that I would rape her, but then I thought about what her parents might have told her about men."No, of course not. I'll even take a walk while you dry your clothes, if you don't want me to see you nude."Ulrika stared at her own hand, moving in the water."You're so nice. Not like..." She took a deep breath. "We were on a school trip in the spring. For once, my teacher had managed to.
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