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We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Woolf, are listed below and are"documented by our video surveillance cameras":1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted in management getting involved causing management to lose time and costing the company money.5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of chips.6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.7. August 15: Set up a tent in the. If she'd freaked out, which I should have expected her to, I might not have been able to contain her hysteria before too many people heard too much. Plus it was unfair to freak out Julia that way.After that class, Julia rushed to grab me and several other people gathered around. They'd all heard about it, especially the camera bluff. There were lots of congratulatory comments, hopes that I hadn't been too badly hurt, and that sort of thing. Julia's rather livid bruise got her much sympathy too. She was dismissive of her injury and happy just hugging her "awesome man".While Julia was hugging me, I somehow became aware that she wasn't wearing a bra. This was a first for her at school! I would've put a big grin on my face, but one had already gotten there all by itself. I gently moved my arm back and forth. Pretty soon Julia realized that I knew, so she helped by unobtrusively rubbing herself against me too. Julia's top wasn't particularly attractive to look at, some smock type of dress.
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