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She wasn’t that way and you can’t give something you don’t have. And I wondered myself. Just what was it I wanted from her? I didn’t need for her to wear a leash and collar or lick my boots. I didn’t want her to call me ‘Master’ or kneel when I came into the room. What I wanted was to know that she’d be willing to do that for me. What I wanted was a visible manifestation of all those ‘I adore you’s’ and ‘I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you’s’. I wanted to know that she loved me enough to put herself in my hands, to cede control to me. I admit it—I’m twisted, I’m warped. That kind of thing is important to me. It speaks to me of trust and love and deep devotion. She claimed she couldn’t give that to me because it didn’t speak to her in the same way it did to me. Fine. I could respect that if it were true. But since that time she pushed my hand away, her claim that she couldn’t give that kind of love to me was starting to seem more like she wouldn’t give it. It felt like a. I rushed upstairs and grabbed the suitcase I kept my stuff in. I quickly found some stockings, panties and plug but a minute had gone. I had no lube for the plug. I put on the stockings and just pushed at the plug, I hurt so much but there was no time. I pulled up the panties and took a photo and sent it back by text. I hoped he would not realise the plug was not in.A minute later, I got a reply. As the plug could not be seen, I would be punished at the weekend, but he was not going to release the video for just that. I realised just how serious this was getting.The next day, I left home complete with panties, stockings and plug and made my way to the tanning salon. I had a bikini in a bag and changed once in. I tanned for 9 minutes and faint lines were starting to appear.I also went and had my ears pierced. This was also a little embarrassing having to ask for both ears to be pierced whilst sat in front of a young girl, in panties, stockings and a plug.Finally Saturday came around.
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