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First, what kind of accounting software do you use and what sort of computer network do you have?”“Well,” Rusty said, “everything sort of came with the place and we don’t have a network.”Then he told me what software they used and I said, “Good grief, I don’t think they still make that. Was it made in 1983, for a Trash 80?”“A trash..?”“Sorry, a Radio Shack TRS 80. It was a bad joke. Let’s go look at your machines and see what you’ve got.”After we looked I said, “Well, it could be worse, but it would take an effort. Don’t you have trouble finding 3.5 inch floppies these days? I must admit I’ve never seen a dot matrix printer in use outside of a museum.”“Well, we’re kind of running out of floppies.”“OK,” I said, “the good news is that you could set up a LAN, uh, local area network, of three fairly cheap desktops with three printers, a fax and a wireless router for under a thousand dollars. You wouldn’t need a server, but you would need a backup regimen. There are all sorts of. ‘Yeah, but then she asked me ‘How much is 3 x 2?’‘What’s the fuckin’ difference?’ asks the father.‘That’s what I said!’LITTLE RALPHY ON ENGLISHLittle RALPHY goes to school, and the teacher says, ‘Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?’RALPHY says ‘Mas-tur-bate.’Miss Rogers smiles and says, ‘Wow, little RALPHY, that’s a mouthful... ‘Little RALPHY says, ‘No, Miss Rogers, you’re thinking of a blowjob.’LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMARLittle RALPHY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the toilet. He yelled out, ‘Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!’The teacher replied, ‘Now, RALPHY, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is ‘urinate.’ Please use the word ‘ur-i-nate’ in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go.’Little RALPHY, thinks for a bit, and then says, ‘You’re an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you’d be a TEN!’LITTLE RALPHY ON.
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