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I am listless, restless, hoping against hope for a message from you. I know that it cannot be and should not be. But it is. You brought a much needed smile to my lips, a laugh to my eyes, a song to my heart. I know, I vowed to keep my heart separate, aloof, locked away from you. It didn’t work. However unintentionally, you broke through all of my defenses, scaled the walls I built around myself and wormed your way into my heart and soul. I failed to realize it was happening until it was too late. You had already left. They say parting is such sweet sorrow and I have to agree. I cried for days after you had gone, hating myself for being so weak, cursing you for leaving and not feeling what I felt. I know it’s futile to write this, but I feel that I ma receive some closure in expressing this torment I am going through. I do not intend to send this letter, not that I have your new address anyway. I hope to find some comfort, some peace in the act of putting my thoughts on paper. You. I decided I was going to Semi retired from the moviebusiness and spend more time at home with my husband. We asked Brendaif she could get us hooked up with a designated mother.A few weeks later, Brenda came to us with a list. After a few hours ofdiscussion, we shorten the list to three finalists. We asked Brenda ifwe could interview them before we make our final decision. Brenda setus up three different lunches with them separately. Since Jack is apolice officer, he is very good at watching people's reaction. He had afeeling that two of them are kind of up to no good. He was afraid thatafter the baby is born, they are going to blackmail us for more money.So, that only left us one last person.Her name is Janet, and she is about my age. She has a high paying jobas a civil engineer in a pretty well known firm in town. It seems to usthat it's strange that such a beautiful and intelligent lady would wantto be a designated mother for money. After we chatted more, sheexplained to us.
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