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You see, for the first ten years we were married, my wife never, ever fell asleep naturally. Every night, and many other times, she was always passing out while we made love. And I mean really out! The first few times I worried that she'd had a heart attack, or a stroke, or something. But after a while it became obvious that this was her normal reaction to an overload of orgasms; she had just simply convulsed herself into unconsciousness when her body couldn't take any more. Anyway, after we split up, I was invited downstairs by the neighbors, a couple of women whom I'd always assumed were lesbians.When I asked for their opinion about why my wife had left me, they first suggested it was because I wan't satisfying her in bed. I didn't think that was it, but Sally persisted. When I explained that she always seemed pretty satisfied, she explained that most women fake it most of the time with guys. That was when I told her that 'nobody fakes unconscious aftershocks.' thinking about all. Two texts later she invited me over. It was a five-minute drive to her house, which she owned, yet she’d been unemployed for over a year. I later learned she used to be a scuba instructor or something, but was now spending time “finding herself,” which apparently meant eating KFC everyday and drinking five nights a week. When I arrived, Pam and one of her unattractive friends were in the kitchen eating chips and salsa. I noticed one of the kitchen walls was a gargantuan painting of a chef. The chef literally was the wall, constantly reminding Pam to keep eating. “So you’re the Sex God?” her friend asked. I smiled at Pam. “Geez, Pam. You’re such a blabbermouth.” Pam laughed. “I know. It was just too funny,” she said between bites. “But you know? It probably wasn’t a good idea to say that because now you have a lot to live up to.” “Oh, I know,” I fired back. “I mean, you’ve really set yourself up for failure,” Pam continued, her eyes dilated. “I don’t know about that.” I opened.
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