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————————————————– Taking the Long Shot, Chapter 04 Peter Fox — after nodding to the nurse, who immediately left by the same door we’d just come through — led me over to Cassandra, who I could feel was studying me closely. Cassandra was as beautiful as I remembered. Hey, please remember that Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that from the first time I saw Cassandra, I’d always thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world. ‘Cassie, do you recognise this man?’ Pete fox asked. Cassandra studied me very closely for a few more seconds, before she shook he head in the negative. ‘Well Cassie this is Daniel Elks. He’s your husband.’ Cassandra didn’t look convinced. ‘No I’m sorry, but I cannot recall ever seeing you before Daniel.’ She said. ‘Dan, Cassandra.’ I corrected her. For some reason right from when I was a kid, I’d always been Dan, never Danny or Daniel to anyone. ‘Dan!’ Cassandra said, the expression on her face changing slightly. I was pretty convinced that she was. I went into them knowing they would end and always saved myself from getting too badly hurt. The flip side, is that I never really let myself be myself. I always catered to their needs and desires. Well, not totally, but it was better to be passive and agreeable than argue. And most of the time, I didn't particularly care one way or another. That's part of the problem right there. I didn't care.Shit. Jenny must be right. I am a closed book. So if that's the problem, the obvious solution is let myself open up. To get beyond the simple expedient of being 'the boyfriend' and allowing them to see the real me, which is terrifying to contemplate.Why was that such a scary thought? Fear of rejection? Well, I should be used to that by now. Except, I always took comfort in the idea that they weren't really rejecting me, because they didn't really know the 'real' me. They were rejecting my version of 'the boyfriend'.I was slowly realizing, that playing the boyfriend was a dead end, had always.
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