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Don't worry, Mum, I'll get my own back, there are some really striking patterns which I'm sure won't sell, and I'll get one in the January Sales and save it for next Christmas. Jen, dear, do you remember that pink and brown fluffy roll-necked one? Wouldn't it suit your brother better? Shall I return this one on Friday and exchange it?" Oh, Mum, that would be really cruel!"I grovelled and apologised for trying to tease Mum; I too had seen the pullover she was referring to, and I had been sure it had been delivered to Naylor's by mistake, having been intended for a London shop on Carnaby Street. No-one in their right minds would have bought it. Mum laughed at her success in making my joke backfire on me, and of course everything was alright again.We carried on with the opening of the presents, each taking it in turns to display our next gift to everyone before thanking the donor.Our grandparents had bought us book and record tokens so that we could choose our own; we thanked them. "I couldn't help but notice that you have a hard-on," said Thelma, getting right to the point."Errr--" What the fuck did a fella say when a broad--a good- looking broad who was smiling--said something like that? Tom could only gape at her in confusion."I suppose your girlfriend won't take care of it for you, is that it?" I ain't got a girlfriend," Tom said. Then he remembered that, although he didn't, he was supposed to have a girl, and he said, "I mean--the girl that I'm with ain't really--errr--I mean, she won't put out." I see. She's probably gone to the lady's room to finger- fuck and remove temptation, I imagine."This was strange talk from a stranger. Tom was utterly perplexed."And I suppose that you were going to beat your meat back in your car, while she was gone. Right?" Well--errr--" I hate to see a nice young man frustrated," Thelma said. "Would you like me to empty your balls for you?"Tom could hardly believe it.She smiled, her tongue sliding across her lips."Are you.
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