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I’ve told her in so many words. I could see the pain it caused in her, but she seems to endure it anyway.Never has she done the same to me. Never ever. I lived life by my rules, and she lived her life by her rules. That’s fair. I just had a hard time understanding her being loyal by her rules, while I lived by very different rules. But I have never asked this of her; she gives it freely.Don’t get me wrong. After Jenny, I’d felt love, in some capacity, for almost every woman I’d slept with. I wasn’t sleeping around to get my rocks off, as they say. It happened once in a while, but it was very rare.In all the years I have slept with women who loved me, and there were a lot of them, I had never seen a smile radiating the contentment as the one now on Jenny’s face. I pulled her even closer to me and kissed her passionately on the lips. Somewhere in there she started to respond, and when we finally broke the kiss and I backed away, her eyes fluttered open. Both of us were breathing. But there was something that bothered me when I saw myself surrounded daily with beautiful ladies from all ages and backgrounds possible: my own past.When I was young, in the college years to be precise, I was what people call as ‘womanizer’. I had lots of girlfriends, sometimes dating two or more girls at the same time without them even not knowing of each other. Sex? For me, it was a very important part of my days, sleeping with the chicks and giving them pleasure. But my ‘Don Juan’ days were counted as I started to date Ruth. She is straight headed kind, totally different from the girls I used to date. I knew that, to have her as my girlfriend and future wife, I had to give up on my womanizing skills, and so I did.The first years were as good as they can be, with me and Ruth being the ‘happy couple’ and starting a family together. But, as I got promoted within the agency, I found myself surrounded with beautiful women, young and intelligent, living their lives. I fought myself to.
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