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I go back into the bathroom and put on my old clothes. They feel terrible. I decide to be female and give him a thank you kiss. On the cheek of course. He puts his arms around me. Later I am sure he only intended to give me a friendly hug. It is too much for me. Even though Frank's body is hard and angular I have not been hugged for weeks. Not even by Ruth. I can't blame her for that. I hug him back. The kiss becomes more intense than I intended. When we finally part I am wobbly again. He looks concerned. I assure him I am all right and make as sober an exit as I can manage. I walk home. It really isn't far at all. On the way I grow wildly excited. Once in the door I tear off my sweaty clothing and jump into my bed. As I touch myself I try not to think about him. *** Summer brings a time of madness. I have seen the lawyer and wear my new name now. I become fascinated with everything I have lost. I am not a man any more. I buy magazines with pictures of naked men. Their cocks achingly. Later, he could not reconstruct just how they made it through financially, but he made sure she never knew the true money situation.Tight as things were, Ryan was able to take several classes the first semester of his vigil. After that, he worked as many hours as he thought she could handle without him, until he had to be with her full time the last three or four months.Immediately after his mother's death, Ryan parlayed his experience and education into a third shift EMT job that allowed him to accelerate his schooling. It took two more years for his degree, and he continued on a year toward his Masters. He had intended to finish the M.S., but one of the hospital chains put on a major recruiting drive with exceptional signing bonuses, and he signed up.His hospital was originally one of the Adventist chain, renowned world-wide as the best from the patients' standpoint. It had been bought by the third largest national chain, and in the three years since the purchase, it was suffering.
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