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Phone sex, even with a video link, does nothing for me.”“I think that you should find yourself a lover for while I'm away.”“You don't mean that!”“I do, actually.”“I'll share Brad with you while Fred's away.” my sister, Wendy, offered. “He's insatiable AND he keeps telling me that his favourite fantasy is a threesome with you and me.”“That's funny, that's my favourite fantasy too.” my husband chipped in. That was news to me. “Sally, I think that you should accept Wendy's offer and share Brad with her while I'm away. I've been worrying about how to tell you this, so I'm just going to come out with it.”“You know that I got this promotion because Sam Smith was retiring after 15 years of making these trips for the company. Well, when he heard that I would be his replacement, he presented me with a rather special file; it's a list of escort agencies in all the US cities that I'll be visiting. He assures me that they are all very discreet and very safe. In fact he has been using most of. ... and I met a girl who was dressed like an egg. One thing led to another and the lifelong question was answered: it was the chicken.What’s a 6.9?Another good thing screwed up by a period.What’s the difference between your dick and a bonus check?Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.Two deer were leaving a gay bar...One turned to the other and said, “Man, I can’t believe I blew thirty bucks in there!”What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?A man will actually search for a golf ball.What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?You can unscrew a lightbulb.What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?We’re closed. Beat it.How do you embarrass an archaeologist?Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it comes from.I took a poop in the elevator. I’m taking this shit to a whole new level.What do you call a deaf gynecologist?A lip reader.What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?Beef strokin’ off.Why do vegans give better.
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