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.. I can almost see the numerals!”I craned my head, trying to get a good look at Ali. She was trying to crane and twist her body around, using every bit of gymnastic funtimes that she had in bed (I swear, she was able to lick my balls while riding my cock cowgirl style. Not reverse. Regular cowgirl. Note to self: If we survive, try that.)“Do you recognize them?” I asked, jerking my head slightly to try and see if I could knock my psychic suppressing hat off. No such luck. And worse still, the stomach acid in this big old sandworm motherfucker was up to my ankles. It didn’t start to really burn until you forgot that you had set your feet down. I jerked them up again, hissing as I saw that my beautiful, caramel brown skin had gotten a bunch of pinkish splotches on them. I shuddered against my restraints.“They’re Doyen pictograms, the kind we give to the smarter mind ... to the smarter slaves,” she said, correcting herself. Mindless was the Doyen term for the non-psychic and Ali had. The mom asks, “Why on earth do you need that?”The little boy replies, “isn’t that what you give daddy when HIS shit won’t get hard?!”This compliments of Mario MComplaints to wife and replyTo My Dearest Wife,During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn’t succeed more often:We will wake the kids - 54 timesIt’s too late - 15 timesI’m too tired - 42 timesIt’s too early - 12 timesIt’s too hot - 18 timesPretending to be asleep - 31 timesThe neighbors will hear - 9 timesHeadache or backache - 26 timesSunburn - 10 timesYour mother will hear us - 9 timesNot in the mood - 21 timesWatching the late show - 17 timesToo sore - 26 timesNew hairdo - 6 timesWrong time of the month - 14 timesYou had to go to the bathroom - 19 timesOf the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that.
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