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Paraprosdokianis a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence is unexpected - and oft times humorous:1. If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they’d eventually find me attractive.2. I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom, until they’re flashing behind you.3. Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.5. I’m great at multi-tasking--I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.6. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.7. Take my advice - I’m not using it.8. My wife and I were happy for twenty years; then we met.9. Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they’re at home when you wish they were.10. Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.11. Ever stop to think and forget to start again?12. Women spend more. I got out of bed at five to twelve as my wife slept and walked over and sat in the chair looking out the window with no lights on. About five after 12 her desk light came on revealing her leaning against the window sill naked and wet from shower. She was touching herself and rubbing her neck, and slowly meticulously working her way down her body. Slowly rubbing and pinching her nipples, and licking her lips. One hand went down to her hairy pussy and began massaging her clit like it was a tense back muscle. I could just make out the expression of ecstasy on her face as she pushed 3 fingers into her vagina and pumped them till she came. She then turned out the light and I jerked off then went to bed.The next morning was business as usual until lunch we were eating our lunch and she broke the silence. Did “you jerk off to my show last night? I hope so it was all for you”“I did, thanks for the show”“oh its not done yet” she said putting a hand on my arm“you know I am married” I wasn‘t.
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