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I could always be open and honest withGran, and I told her my biggest fear: that ultimately, if things wentfar enough with Michael, I wouldn't be able to give him what a "normal"girl could.Gran chuckled and said, "Well, I hope you've been raised well enough sothat we don't have to worry about that right away!" and I laughed. Gransaid that in the long run, honesty was the best policy. It scared metodeath to think about telling Michael the truth about me. I wasn'tafraid of losing him as a potential boyfriend, but of losing him as afriend. I curled up in satin sheets wearing a long nightgown thatnight, but I didn't sleep well.It was great to be back in Dallas again. I caught up with Shirley, themakeup tech at Nieman's, and she was amazed at how I was developing."You're gorgeous, Mary!" she said. "What are you planning to do thissummer?" I told her about my plans for Six Flags, swimming, and ofcourse, the dances, but it was clear that most of my time would be free."How would you. Hope it isn't, as she's the only family I actually have, heh." As long as you don't let it affect YOUR Christmas," Chloe says with awarm smile."Hell no!" I reply with a grin, though inside, I can't help but wonderif Chloe is right. Grandma will never say it, of course, but I know sheloved spoiling 'Kayleigh-Ann' at Christmas, especially with my birthdaybeing only a handful of days afterward. But last Christmas- my first as'Ian'- was no different, with one important exception- it was my firstliving away from my parents, and as such, grandma's first Christmaswhere she had to defend me against her own daughter, and she can't belooking forward to doing THAT again.I make a mental note to ask grandma about this worry, but I'm alsodetermined to follow my girlfriend's advice and not let it ruin myChristmas. Almost immediately after my shift ends and I've bid Dean amerry Christmas, I head with my girlfriend to the car park, where mylift is waiting. Both Chloe and I take a deep breath as Rob-.
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