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Physical Properties: Undergoes spontaneous dehydrolysis (weeps) at absolutely nothing, and freezes at a moments notice. Totally unpredictable. Melts when properly treated, very bitter if not well used. Found in various states, ranging from virgin metal to common ore. Non-magnetic but attracted by coins & sports cars. In its natural shape the specimen varys considerably, but it is often changed artificially so well that the change is indiscernable except to the experienced eye.Chemical Properties: Has a great affinity for AU, AG, & C, especially in the crystalline form. May give violent reaction if left alone. Will absorb great amounts of food matter. Highly desired reaction is initiated with various reagents such as C(2)-H(5)-OH & sexy aftershave. An essential catalyst is often required (must say that you love her at least 5 times daily). Reaction accelerates out of control when in dark & all reaction conditions are suitable. Extremely difficult to react if in the highly stable pure. "Of course, I..."The Bathmobile shook violently, as it was bathed in a brilliant bright light."Holy Shit BathGirl, what the fuck was that?" I, I don't know! Something is lifting us into the air! By the way, Rubber Ducky, you shouldn't use language like that, it isn't ladylike!" I'm not a lady!" Well you look like one now!" Ladies don't wear yellow spandex wrestling suits, and press over a ton."A section in the bottom of the saucer seemed to dissolve, as if rotting to pieces, allowing the Bathmobile to be pulled into its examining bay. When the truck was fully inside, the ragged hole in the spacecraft seemed to 'heal' up. The brilliant light vanished as the Bathmobile settled to the deck.Through the windshield of the Bathmobile, The Disinfecting Duo could see an alien, holding a device that resembled an oversized police baton."What do you think, Rubber Ducky, is that some kind of weapon?" I'll bet it's an anal probe, the 'Weekly World Wiper' has had a lot of alien anal probe stories in.
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