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‘Hey, hey Eva, calm down. Breathe in then out. Nice deep breaths,’ Jacob coaches me, ‘in…out…in…out,’ and soon my breathing comes back to normal, but I can’t seem to stop the tears from falling. ‘Did someone do that to you?’ Derek asks. All I can do is nod. Jacob is still holding me under my boobs, which I’m starting to feel comfortable with. Derek is closer now, holding my hands. ‘Tell us what has scared you, please?’ he begs. ‘I…oh god.. it was my stepfather.’, I felt like I was about to break, like he was going to jump out. With these two holding me I felt safe to continue, ‘He did the scars on my arms and chest. He was an abuser and I was his target for three years, but no one believed me apart from Sarah. My stepfather was a pillar of the community, and when I tried to get free from him, he tried to…’ I can’t continue. I don’t want them to look at me like I’m broken, I already know I am. The tears haven’t stopped yet either. Derek wipes my face with his thumbs gently before. In Miami I could actuallytry them on unlike the internet where I could get everything but it wasalways a crap shoot as to whether it would fit or even look good.Cheryl and Jennifer became good friends. They invited me to their partieswhere I met a wide range of Key West people. Many of their guests werelesbian but I can only guess because no wears a name badge with lesbian onit. But when two women come together I guess they are a couple. Not manymen came to their parties and those that did were not the macho lookingguy. I guess they were just normal guys they knew from work.At one party a very tall gal started a conversation with me over a glass ofwhite wine. She was easily five foot ten but wore three inch heels whichmade her over six foot. I was impressed with her casual manner and her wellmanicured appearance. Her hair and makeup and were impeccable. After only afew minutes I got the distinct impression that she was hitting on me. Thishad never happened to me before. I really.
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