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But mendidn't bother about whether their chests were covered or not did they? Yethere I was prepared to even put on a babydoll top to cover my chest. Whathad come over me I thought as I looked at the woman in the mirror.Elizabeth said, "Jacqueline, you are shivering, here put these on. I wasgoing to give them to you for your birthday but you obviously need themnow." She gave me a pack of Golden Lady 30 denier semi opaque black tights."Here let me show you how to put them on," Elizabeth said in acondescending voice taking the pack back from me and opening them.Just because I was born a man didn't mean I was born stupid I thought tomyself. She talks to me like I am a little girl getting dressed for thefirst time. Again she was leading me, thrusting femininity upon me.But I listened attentively as she pulled out the piece of cardboard thatyou always get in a pack of tights or stockings, and rolled my first pairof tights up into a ball. She told me to roll them up my legs with. What’s more depending on the angle of the mirror it was entirely possible that my son may have actually seen some hair sticking out down there. I had not yet developed my middle age paunch that would have hidden my triangle of hair from that angle.At first my stomach did flips, I could not believe that I had so carelessly exposed myself to my son like that. Then while laying down next to my passed out hubby in my sheer nightie it also dawned on me that little Ricky was the only person to have shown any interest in what I had hidden in years really. I really did not sleep well that night at all, just too many emotions but I do have a clear memory of what emotion won out. Anger at my husband for becoming a drunk, anger at being ignored, frustration, the sexual kind, anger at my husband for being the kind of drunk that has to be hauled off to bed by his 14 year old son. I think that this was the point more instinctive then anything at that point where I decided that if my husband wanted.
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