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At first she didn't look at him, just staring downwards, talking to her knees. "I was thinking about Dad. I still love him, but ... Well, he took me out of school just before my thirteenth birthday. I think he wanted to keep me at twelve years old, keep me sheltered, and keep me away from stuff about the Swarm. What you said yesterday about 'English, Maths and the Bible' was right." So you were taking some of it in?" It was strange," Rachel explained. "I was sort of frozen, watching myself in a film of what was going on. I could see it, and hear it, but I couldn't do anything in it. Anyway, Dad wanted to keep me at twelve years old. But I'm not twelve, I'm fourteen. Typical Dad. If things weren't the way he wanted them to be, then he'd ignore the bits he didn't like and pretended they didn't exist." She paused, collecting her thoughts, and turned towards her brother. "I think that a lot of the problems I've been having, since the airport, are me trying to grow up two years in the. I had desires. I had fantasies. And none of them were about my wife. They were about girls at work, my son’s girlfriends, and random girls I saw.Yet I was always able to contain myself, and my fantasies remained fantasies. While I teetered on the edge of the rabbit hole, I still had not dived in. To appease the desires swirling throughout my head I would a number of things. I’d have sex with my wife, jerk-off to porn, and look at pictures on the various escort sites while stroking my hard cock.But that was all I would do. While I desperately wanted to enjoy the company of a younger woman, I dared not. I was afraid. I was afraid I’d get a disease. I was afraid I’d have a run in with her pimp. I was afraid I’d get arrested. I was afraid I’d lose everything that I had, and everyone in my life. I was afraid I’d end up like my father.My name is Kurt Branigan and this story is how that ended up happening.To understand the cause, I need to talk about my youngest son and his girlfriend. When.
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