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When I came home I told my doctor and he had me go see a psychiatrist. Iwas in single and group therapy for two years. The depression seemed toease a little. My one regret now is that I never mentioned by genderissues with him. Maybe I could have started transitioning earlier.Around this time, I prayed to God every night to make me a girl so thatI could be happy.Around my teen years I liked to sneak into my mother's closet and wearher shoes and costume jewelry. I would imagine that I was ScarlettO'Hara. Gone with the Wind was and still is my favorite book and movie.I couldn't wear her dresses though because my mother was a lot shorterthan me.By the time I started High School, I was practically a social outcast. Iremember walking past groups of kids and hearing them laugh. High Schoolwas something I tolerated.There was one incident that happened to me when I was in tenth grade. Ihad to go to the bathroom real bad. I saw a door that I knew was abathroom, but no sign as to whether it was. Dad : tera room sahi kar diya hai , room main aaram kar le .Me : Us room main aap rehne wale ho main nahi , aaj se bedroom mera aur maa ka hai .He silently accepted that and we remained silent for few more timeI got up n went to the bedroom n called mom“maa , aaoo zara pyaas lagi hai ” mom came n sat on bed i took her in my embrace and slowly undressed her . She had accepted her defeat , i fucked her calmly n passionately .then at dinner time , we were quietly eating our dinner and i utteredMe : dekho jo ho gaya ho gaya , ab sab naya start karte hain , normal rehte hain , normal baat karte hain. And i was surprised to see the look on everyone’s face they looked like they accepted this too . And i kept on talking them n they were answering me very hesitatingly.after dinner i said “maa , ek glass doodh leke aa jaana bed room main”and i left the table n went to bed room .after one hour mom came with glass of milk n offered it to me .i said ” maa tu apne muh se pila “she gulped some milk.
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