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She didn’t mention her own conflicted feelings towards Benita or her emerging submissive side, both of which scared her and she was repressing. Carmen wanted to be completely open and honest with her mother but didn’t think her mother would believe the truth. ‘You can’t keep this child,’ Susan said in a sad and sympathetic manner. ‘I’m not aborting my child! This is my child and I will raise it!’ Carmen replied in a hurt and defensive tone. ‘Are you sorry you had me?’ Carmen added in a hurt tone. ‘Honey, I love you dearly and I wouldn’t change anything for the world, but raising a child on your own is hard,’ Susan said in a sympathetic manner. ‘You did it, why can’t I?’ Carmen answered back. ‘The last thing you need right now is to be burdened with a child. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you,’ Susan said in an urging manner. ‘So does my baby,’ Carmen replied sternly. ‘Yes, it does, but all I’m saying is let someone else raise it, someone who will be able to give it. On the short drive back to the cottage Julia asked. “What’s going to happen if Jamal and the rest of them are still there?”“Then I’ll know where I stand with your mother.”“I want to stay with you for the summer; can I, please? And Abigail wants me to come to her mother’s birthday party.”“I’d like that, but it’ll be up to your mother.”I pulled the car up by the side of the cottage and looked down towards the canal. The hire boat had gone, leaving Never in her solitary splendor. A lone figure sat on her deck, an iPad in her hands. Sandy raised her hand in greeting, and I gave her a nod. I hadn’t included her in the request, so I wasn’t surprised to see her. She turned her attention back to her iPad, and Julia and I made our way around to the back of the cottage.Ali was sitting at the table on the terrace, and it looked like she’d been crying. Julia froze by my side. The table was littered with empty glasses and coffee mugs, apparent evidence of a heated meeting.“They’ve taken the boat.
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