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She'd even begun to watch my reaction as she flirted with other men, I could tell. Then she'd ask subtle things to suss me out afterward. I could tell she did it to see what effect it had had on me. It was turning me on in a way, I can't deny. I hated the pain she was putting me through, but I couldn't help fantasizing hotly in secret about her with them in steamy sex scenes. I soon also discovered she wasn't as genuine to me as she pretended, and the shock of discovering her slating of me behind my back turned my world upside down. I was torn to bits by it; and it caused such intense emotional turmoil for me I went on antidepressants. Perhaps, I've since wondered, was she a habitual teaser and control freak, and somehow got off on the power of her situation relative to me? But she never admitted anything to me, so she was a bone of contention to me for a couple of years afterward. My memories of her cause even now starkly contrasted feelings of desire and deep lust, but also. She carried the glass into the living room and sat on the settee to wait and see what happened. She felt something in between fear and excitement and found it hard to relax, jumping at every sound. Gwen turned the lights down until the lamps just glowed, throwing the room into deep shadows. She sat until eleven o’clock, slightly later than her normal bed time, but nothing happened.Gwen at last got up to retire. She realised that she hadn’t drunk the wine and found she didn’t want it and poured it down the kitchen sink. She ran the shower, dried and then went to bed. She lay for a short while and then crept out of the room and lay on the settee in the complete darkness of the living room.After a few hours, her eyelids began to droop and her head nodded a few times. She fell asleep and woke the next morning at her usual time. Nothing had happened fortunately. She wondered why that might be the case and then realised that she had closed the curtains completely, effectively blocking her.
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