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I had made a point of not waiting for Josh after the game, saying that he had his bike, and this was Daddy-Daughter Day, anyway. Instead, I had taken her to the neighborhood Dairy Queen, where a lot of kids her age were wont to gather. She enjoyed prancing around in front of her classmates in her hot outfit, especially the boys, I'm sure. But if I read the situation correctly, she also delighted in the unprecedented one-on-one attention from her dad. Her happiness did not go unnoticed by her mother upon our return, or during dinner that evening.Later, when Soonie and I were alone, she brought it up."Mindy seemed very happy today. Where did you go with her?" Oh, we went to Josh's game, and then I took her to Dairy Queen. You know how she feels she doesn't get enough attention. I thought I'd try to spend some time with her." That's a good idea. She does get upset about that sometimes. It's just that she doesn't study hard enough. Tammy will get into a good college, and Josh gets better. The fear I saw nearly took my breath away, and I wanted to reach out to him, to hold his face between my hands and comfort him. If only he’d let me…. ‘First,’ he said, ‘I’m going to tell you what I can. It might not be the explanation you want, but it’s all I can do right now.’ Then he stopped. I waited for a moment, and then said, ‘well?’ He took a breath. ‘I’m under contract,’ he said. ‘To who?’ I asked when he showed no signs of continuing. ‘For what?’ this petty mystery was beginning to annoy me, and I could hardly keep the tone of irritation out of my voice. ‘That’s all I can say,’ he said. ‘Please don’t ask me anything else.’ with that he turned on his heel and walked into the bedroom. I could control myself no longer. My reaction to these months of neglect and sullenness poured out of me, and I could not have stopped myself even if I had wanted to. I screamed, ‘Paul! Stop this, dammit! What’s happened to you? Can’t you see what you’re doing to us?’ When he didn’t respond I.
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