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. searching ... searching for a connection. And it must have been because while I was trying to link up to Dawn, having missed her for so long, all her attention was on Adrienne.In fact, the more I thought about it, the more Dawn's appearance was carefully calculated to ensure she looked at her absolute most intimidating best. She wasn't styled to entice a guy, but to 'out-do' a girl. I knew the difference, after much training on fashion from Adrienne. Dawn had known my girlfriend/new 'sister' was coming along; that would have been shared between her mom and mine. And for some reason, Dawn had felt the need to dress to impress.And Dawn WAS stunning. The wide-eyed look on Adrienne's face when she first saw her was confirmation enough of that. But there was also some doubt in Dawn's steely blue gaze. While Adrienne at least had a photo to give her an idea of what Dawn looked like, Dawn was blind and looked shocked by Adrienne's beauty, even though my girlfriend was just wearing khaki. I could go fromhappy to sad in an eye blink, and I was suddenly the most forgetful personthis side of an old folk's home. It wasn't that I didn't care. It was morelike I couldn't take the time to care about the things that were going onaround me. I felt that everyone was out to get me. I wouldn't have trusteda police officer if he told me that the sun was shinning brightly. Part ofit was that the few friends that I had thought were on my side disappearedwhen my desire to be a girl came to light. I was suddenly taboo, andoutsider without the coolness of being an outsider. I was an outcast, apariah. And if it wasn't for the fact that I was good at disappearing. Iwould probably have gotten in a lot more fights than I did. Nine may havestarted out being a good year, but it quickly became one of the worstyears of my life.And now here I was putting my skill at disappearing to good use. It's notlike I can move through walls or cause light to bend around me. Instead itis a lot more like.
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