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During the lessons Wellings’ mind would often wander, he would imagine he was somewhere else, anywhere else but in that dreadful classroom. He remembered the days before school and the hateful lessons, he remembered how free he had felt, then there had been no weight upon his soul, no worries or fears which gnawed at his mind during waking hours and asleep. It was a stifling feeling, almost of suffocation within that classroom, it was only his daydreams that stopped him breaking down during the lessons. Many times he had felt the impulse to breakdown and cry during one of Swaile’s onslaughts but so far he had succeeded in fighting this urge. Everyday the pressures built upon him, every hour in the presence of Swaile made him feel less worthy, less human. It was indescribable the sweat soaked fears he went through during those lessons, his feelings of inadequacy, he was the buffoon of the class, the mumbling, stuttering moron. He felt like a leper with Swaile behind him, ringing a. " Well - gosh, I don't know whether I could do that or not. I'venever done it in front of someone before." I understand, son. I guess it might be a little difficult to getyourself excited, given the circumstances - especially with yourmother present." With her hand his mother pointed toward the magazinelying on the floor and said, "But it's OK if you want to go aheadand look at those pictures - if you think it would help."The reference to the magazine made Bobby blush again and he didn'tknow quite what to say. Norma, sensing her son's hesitation, bentdown and picked up the magazine. Glancing at the picture that Bobbyhad been looking at earlier she handed it to him asking, "Is thisthe picture that you like to look at? Is she the one that turnsyou on? She's really got beautiful breasts, doesn't she?"Reflexively, Bobby reached out with his hand and took the magazinefrom her, looking down at the picture. Totally confused by thesituation, especially hearing his mother talk this way for.
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