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“But I don’t love him like I love you. It really is just sex. I thought that was what you wanted.”“Please Penny, don’t say that again.’“But…”“I thought it was what I wanted too, but now it’s happened… I don’t know any more!”There was a long pause, one in which my husband of over twenty years seemed unable even to look at me.“If you want, I’ll stop seeing him,” I said eventually, realising that, despite the fantastic sex, I really would have stopped it there and then if Pete asked me to.Instead he took a deep breath and apparently with some difficultly looked deep into my eyes. I could see the redness and upset in his and it hurt me inside.“Do you want to stop seeing him?” he asked, quietly.I thought for a moment.“Honestly?”He nodded.“I think honesty is the only option now, don’t you?”“Then no, I don’t want it to stop,” I replied. “I’d like to keep on seeing him and be married to you, but only if you really are okay about it. You have to be honest about that, Pete.”“And you’d really. ” She picked up her refreshed cup of tea to take a sip, then put it down and played with the spoon in the saucer. “It’s just that I didn’t even realise we had a problem. Nothing was ever said between us about it not working out, or any dissatisfaction on his part. Even when he said he wanted the divorce, he tried to explain it away as being because we grew apart and the divorce would be better for both of us. Wayne never admitted to any affair until I finally confronted him about a week after his girlfriend had the baby. Then, there’s the effect on the children, the poor lambs don’t know which way to turn since we separated.”“The children always take it hardest, the poor dears, their whole world collapses.”“Yes, it does. They are so quiet most of the time at home, I feel they don’t want to talk about what a great time they had at their Dad’s, in case it depresses me and I suspect they don’t want to tell Wayne what a great time they’ve just had pony trekking on Dartmoor with Jake.” She.
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